Monday, August 13, 2007

True Confession

The Literary Mamas have resurrected the blog page, and I am the first one up! I am both excited and nervous to be presented on a national, perhaps international scope. Now, I don't know how many hits my blogs may receive due to this announcement, but it staggers my mind to think of my humble blogs being advertised anywhere and duly motivates to blog more often here at Marmee's Corner.

Lately, I have posted weekly at marmee's musings but haven't written here since July 24! Why not? Because I'm busy? Partly. Because I'm lazy? Possibly. Because I fear failure? Most likely.

In the last year, I have become increasingly aware that perfectionism rules my writing life. I understand a first draft is messy, but instead of "just writing" (which is the mantra that inspired me to begin Marmee's Corner) and getting the whole thing down on paper, I revise while I draft. Of course, all writers do that to some extent, but I'm talking deep revision, as I go over and over words, phrases, sentences, paragraphs --Ad nauseam!

All or nothing is classic perfectionistic behavior: Because I struggle to write a complete draft, I don't write at all. I use busyness and fatigue as an excuse to avoid the keyboard. I broached this topic in my most recent online writing class' message board, and STILL have done little to overcome or change this pitiful behavior. (One area I have improved is the time I spend on my blog posts. That at least is a step.)

I'm not making any promises to make drastic changes, but if confession is good for the soul, then my soul is feelin' mighty fine!

2 comments:

Joyanna said...

Keep trying, Kathy! This is a really brave post.

Daphne said...

I think what you have to say about perfectionism is always thought-provoking. It helps me face the perfectionist in myself.